Change...

Ahhhh...the one word that can spark fear in one person and bring pure joy to another....change! Change can be good and change can sure as heck be bad. Trust me I have been on the receiving end of both types of change (that is another blog post for another day!). Change is what I am trying to navigate for myself in 2013. I want to break free from the funk I have been experiencing for the last several months and focus on the positive. I want to make changes in my life that make me feel better physically, mentally, and emotionally.  So far 15 days into 2013 and I am doing good. I am blogging more, enjoying the chatter the 365 of kindness and gratefulness is creating on Facebook, and working to stay in the present more.

Now can I improve on more things yes, but hey change does not have to happen overnight. The change I am looking to make to my life will take time and it will be something that should continue to evolve over time. I am looking forward to some changes I will be encountering in the near future and to find the good in the changes that occur. Wasn't it Sheryl Crow that sang about how, "That change will do you good?"

Today was a day full of ups and downs and I think as I sit here typing this, I simply needed to get my thoughts down from the day. I needed to remind myself that all days won't be calm and harmonious. Change is inevitable but if you take the time to sit down and reflect on the events from a given day typically you can find something good. Maybe you will learn something new, maybe you will find something about yourself you want to work on, maybe someone will surprise you. We should not focus always on the negative. It seems that when a day does not go exactly as planned people immediately focus on the negative and in doing this an individual can be missing out on a life lesson that could turn into a positive.

Now I have got all my thoughts from this day out and I have reflected on my day, I am at peace. Time for some shut eye and then we shall see what new adventure awaits me tomorrow.

Until next time I hope you embrace changes in your life with an open mind and kindness in your heart to others! :)

Living in the Present...

I am sure I am not alone in what I am about to say...many times I catch myself running from one event, household chore, child activity to the next and while doing all of this my mind is racing ahead thinking about what I have to do the next day, the next week, the next month, etc.....you get the picture. Of course, there are the other times when I am trying to turn my mind off (yes, go to sleep, just relax) and during those times I start to think about how I handled a work situation, dealt with disciplining the girls, how I could have used my time better at home last weekend, etc.....once again you get the picture. Many times I catch myself thinking and trying to live in the past or the future, when really I need to be focused on the PRESENT!!!

Entering 2013 I told myself that no matter what I need to find a way this year to joyfully live in the present.

1. I need to learn to enjoy the moments with my girls more because well, they aren't going to be little forever.
2. I also have to find more time to enjoy my husband.
3. I need to find time to do things for me (this one receives MAJOR neglect)
4. I need to find the things in my life that give me joy and make me feel alive (this being one of them). I have a lot to say and if others want to read great, if not that is fine too. Plus this blog is like a diary to me, my way of putting my thoughts down.

So those four items above are fairly all encompassing, but that is ok, I have 365 days to work on all of them (well actually 360 since today is January 5th).  How am I doing so far?

1. I am focusing on listening to my girls and be very present when they talk to me. I make it point to read and play with them as much as I can. Is it enough, not quite yet, but I am working on it.
2. I am working on being present with my husband, not just listening to him as I dart off to the washing machine or out the front door to go to work. I am trying to work in the time at some point each day for him and I to connect, just us, no girls.
3. I am blogging 2 entries in 5 days is not too shabby considering my past track record (2 or 3 entries at most in one year. Wow, one or two more entries and I will have a new yearly blog record...WHOA!)
4. Finding joy, last year was rough, heck the latter part of 2011 was rough too, there is no other word to describe it. Things are turning around now and I am finding joy in writing this, I am finding joy in others being kind to others, for the first time in a long time, I am smiling and it feels good, really good, almost joyful!

I hope all of my readers can live in the present in 2013, enjoy the moment, and be kind and nice to others!

Till next time!

Bye Bye 2012....Hello 2013!

2013...ahhh it has a nice ring to it doesn't it? See 13 is lucky in the Walker house for many reasons:

• Brad and I went on our first date on a Friday the 13th (everyone said that this would never last...NO ONE goes on a first date on a Friday the 13th)
• Brad and I were married on the 13th of May (It will be 13 years of marriage this year! :)

2012 had it's ups and it certainly had it's downs. (Obviously there were some downs I did not blog once during 2012 what the heck is wrong with that picture??) Was I angry about the down moments, yes at times I was mad and sad, but I still believe that everything in each person's life happens for a reason. I also believe that every action, event, and moment helps each of us grow to be a stronger better person in life. Now let's not dwell and live in the past let's forge head first into 2013 and live in the present. Seems I am always so busy rushing from one thing to the next, worrying about consequences of various activities that I really do not do a good job of living in the present. Often times I find myself dwelling on the past which is not good as you can't change the past nor should I want to or else I am worrying about what is going to happen in the future which we all know we can't control the future!

This has lead me to do the following for 2013:

1. Each day on Facebook I am going to post the 365 days of kindness and gratefulness. I will post a question or comment each day and if anyone has anything positive or kind I am asking all to feel free to share their thoughts with the rest of us.

2. Each morning I am going to wake up and keep myself focused on the present. What can I do to stay positive? Also hopefully my actions will shed a little positive light or energy on someone else's day. Remember you don't need to have lots of money or material things to make someone else's day a little better or brighter! :)

It's a new day, a new year and I want to embrace the positive, goodness, and kindness that is out there. I hope you come along on this journey with me as I am very much looking forward to it.

Now for day 1 of the 365 days of kindness and gratefulness I shared,

"Today I am grateful for the love my children and husband give me each and every day! Today my girls made pictures for me and my husband made both lunch and breakfast for me. It's the little things that make this girl happy! What are you grateful for today?"

Don't be shy it is ok to say something good!

Until my next blog (which I promise will not be 1.5 years from now!)

Blessings and kindness to all!
M

Does this Make Me a Soccer Mom?!?

Two blog post in ONE week..oh my goodness what has got into me? :)

My oldest daughter is game for trying anything and everything! As a mom, I am not complaining in the slightest. For the upcoming fall season we told her that she could choose to do 2 activities, well in typical Mere fashion, that list was a mile long! Her choices on her list consisted of the following:

• Dance (this would be our 3rd straight year for dance)


• Baseball


• Basketball


• Soccer


• Swimming


• Cheerleading

Now let's make our way through the elimination process...baseball and swimming we have just done or are finishing up. Basketball typically is not until the winter season. We are now down to dance, soccer, and cheerleading. We should stop at this moment to reflect on these last 3 options...dance, no worries she loves that; soccer, when Mere was a toddler she did soccer at the local rec center; and finally...cheerleading, there is a certain dad that was not thrilled with this option, but we were both mindful that we need to let our children make their own decisions and to learn from them. This meant that cheerleading was left on the board. Earlier this week out of nowhere Mere came to me and shared that she wants to keep dancing and she wants to try soccer.

Soccer registration is complete, soccer shoes are purchased, next up are purchasing shin guards. She is very excited and that makes us happy too. Through this process I have been told that I am now officially a soccer mom. What does it mean to be a soccer mom? Now the actual definition of a soccer mom is a suburban mom who spends a significant amount of time transporting her minor children to sporting and other activities. Well, holy moly I have been doing that since the girls were born. First it was just daycare/school, and slowly we have begun to add more activities. I would not have it any other way. Growing up my parents did not have a lot of money so trying various activities was not exactly an option for me. I always told myself that if I had children, I wanted to allow them the opportunity to try various activities, but on the flip side of that I did not want them so inundated with activities that they become overwhelmed. So far we seem to have the balancing act down for now.

Now the bigger question is, is this what I thought being a soccer mom would be? Yes, it is for the most part. I love seeing the joy in their faces when the girls try something new or how proud one of them is when she reaches a new milestone and I would not want to miss those events for anything in the world. The one thing that I would change is the pace my life is currently going at. I feel like my life is constantly going at about 100 miles per hour and my hair is constantly on fire from the frenzy of activities (work, school, home, and a host of items). When your life is going this fast, I often feel like I am missing the little things. I can't remember the last time I sat down and was able to read a complete novel from beginning to end or been able to simply flop down on the couch next to my husband and just snuggle for 5 minutes. I think this is why I reached back to blogging this week as I have started to think of how I want to change my life or at least slow the 100 mph train down a bit. :) I love sharing thoughts and ideas with others and I felt that recently I was getting away from that, so I welcome others thoughts and feedback.

So before I wander off to bed, to answer the question posed in this blog post, am I a soccer mom? Heck ya I am and have been for some time now. To prove it I am sure that some of you will see me zooming around in my car later this fall again! There is nothing wrong with being a soccer mom as long as you find a balance for all and in finding that "happy" balance maybe even I will slow down to a mere 90 mph! :)

The Current World We Live in...

Wow it has almost been two years since I last blogged...BAD!! So one might ask what have I been doing in the past 2 years?? Trying to mold my two darling daughters into being better people, trying to keep up with my crazy, super mad work schedule, and try with every fiber of my being to squeeze in some time for that crazy man, otherwise known as my husband, who has loved me unconditionally for nearly 15 years. I think that is quite a bit to be doing, phew!

So what leads me to blog on this Sunday night? People and the world! Sometimes I step back and I look at world I grew up in and then I look at present day and I am like "Holy moly, did I grow up in a completely different time and place?" I know that Central Pennsylvania is a far cry from the Washington DC metro area but still we should all have the inner decency to be kind and good to one another, right? Given the economic turn of events in our world over the past few years coupled with hard times for many I think that mankind has entered a new phase. One that I am not particular pleased with and one that I want to show my girls is not the norm. This leads into my recent observations:

Observation #1 - Common courtesy to one another is dissipating rapidly! I have found this on the highways during my many 2 hour, 21 mile adventures to work in the morning. People honk at one another for no reason other than frustration, people do not allow others to merge into traffic unless the person practically begs and pleads with the driver, and when someone does let someone in the common courtesy of acknowledging this act is gone (i.e. no wave to say thank you). Case in point let me tell you some of my recent adventures in driving in the DC metro area.
The notorious honking - Ever tried merging across 3 lanes of traffic when it is at a standstill? I would compare it to playing a game of Chicken. Seriously, I have lost count at the number of times I patiently put my turn signal on and painstakingly wait my turn for an opening to merge. Many times once that merge has been found I will be honked at or flipped off by someone. Now mind you I am not little Miss Perfect, I have honked at others who have cut me off or flipped me off from time to time, but over the course of the past year I have stopped. The reason why? Life is really too short to honk or flip someone else off. Second, what kind of example am I setting for my girls. Granted I have never done this in the car with them, but if I continue this poor behavior then we all know that someday I will slip up and do it when they are with me....NOT A GOOD THING to have to explain to two young impressionable girls who imitate their mommy enough already!

The mean spirited individual that will not let you merge into traffic - This just happened last week and boy was I mad at this guy, but instead of chewing him out with curse words I killed him with kindness. It was 5:00 pm rush hour in Northern Virginia and I am trying to merge into the turning lanes to make it to the Capital Beltway. Keep in mind that unlike several other drivers I at least have my turn signal on! Of course, NO ONE is letting anyone merge in and of course I am running out of road! The traffic light ahead of me turned red and I rolled down my window to ask the man (I would call him a gentleman but as you will see in a moment he was not worth it!) in the white Jeep Wrangler if he would let me merge in front of him. Windows rolled down, my head is out the window, and with a big smile on my face, I point to space in front of his Jeep and say, "Please?" He looks me square in the eyes and shakes his head and says "NO WAY!" I responded with a "Why?" He just starts shaking his head no again with more vigor. I rolled up the window and thought, "Well, somebody certainly ended his day on a high note!" Finally the light turns green and my turn signal is still blinking to get into that darn lane. All of a sudden the white Jeep man starts honking and throwing his hands up in the air saying, "Well get in already.." I got into the lane and I hate to admit this I did wave to thank him but I also muttered a not so nice word for him under my breath! See I am not perfect and never said I was! :)

Finally, common courtesy...where has it gone? - I am notorious for letting people merge into traffic in front of me. I grew up watching my parents allow one vehicle in and then you moved on so that the person behind you could let another vehicle in, so I try to do this whenever possible too. I have also gotten use to not receiving a wave or any other sort of acknowledgement for this gesture. My oldest daughter has started noticing this too and recently asked why don't people thank one another? Here comes that conversation about how we should treat all fairly, equally, and kindly even if others do not do the same towards you. My oldest has really taken this to heart and even as I right this it makes me smile. There are many times when the girls and I are out and cars will stop to allow the girls and I to cross the street. My oldest has picked up on the fact that I wave or say thank you to the individual that stops and allows us to cross the street and lo and behold she has started doing the same thing. I have to admit at the tender age of 5, nothing warms my heart more than to see her saying "Thank you!" to the car that is waiting for us to cross in front of them! What's even better is seeing that driver's face light up with a smile when my little girl says "Thank you!" and waves with me.

Please note I am not saying that the world is full of all horrible and bad people, I am just saying that if all people took a little time to set their anger and hatred aside and think of how their actions can affect others then maybe we would see a more kinder and gentler actions towards one another. Wouldn't that be nice?! Who knows instead of putting a rain cloud over someone's day we could put a sun. :)

Ok, well this Mom and Everything in Between will be back soon. I am going to make a dedicated effort to bring you more thoughts and fun stuff too with my girls, husband and I. I also hope to hear from all of you.

Mommy Takes on Jury Duty...

So today was the day...my day of civic duty had arrived...jury duty. I did not sleep well last night in anticipation of my adventure today, I did not want to oversleep and be late, and a part of me lay awake hoping to get a great trial to sit on as a juror. Hey, I was a criminal justice major in college therefore I was ready to go. Well I left the house extra early and got to the courthouse 40 minutes early. I then proceeded to almost get lost getting from the parking garage to the courthouse. Next I made it through the metal detector, wanding and purse search. This led me to the culmination of my day...I spent the next several hours sitting in the HOT jurors room. Baliff after baliff came in calling potential jurors but my name was never called. Eventually by early afternoon we were all dismissed as all jury trials had come to a close for today. BUT I still have to check back in this FRIDAY after 5:00 pm to see if they need for me to return next Monday. I think the best way to describe the day was organized chaos. Baliffs came in would call names but would not take the individuals right away if ever, cases were settled prior to a trial starting and some cases were issued continuances. Thank goodness for my book, Rocco Mediate and John Feinstein's "Are you Kidding Me?" Great book about Rocco and 2008 U.S Open and I am only 100 pages in. Without that book I would have gone crazy having nothing to do.

Ok, I am off to get some real sleep prior to tomorrow.

A Weekend of Self-Care...

Ok, I am the first to admit that I tend to take care of everyone else first and I am the last person I think to take care of...wait, I think that is what most moms do, so hey at least I am not alone! :-) Brad, my husband, practically has to throw me out the door to do something for myself. Well, this weekend I do not know if someone hit me over the head or what; I tend to think that I simply had an a-ha moment. Anyways I treated myself to a beautiful bracelet that I have been eyeing up for months. I am not much on materialistic items, as long as I have my family, health, friends and happiness I am a pretty happy camper. Maybe that is why I started to feel a bit guilty when I bought this item. Thank goodness for Brad because he was the one that pointed out to me how hard I work at everything I do and for me to treat myself once in awhile is not such a bad thing. I have to admit I love this bracelet and will probably wear it every day and it will be my reminder that it is ok to take care of myself with something "fun" now and then.



My second HUGE milestone of the weekend, I FINISHED READING A BOOK!! I know, I know you are thinking what is so special about this? Well let's see I have not finished a book in YEARS! Recently my reason for lack of reading was our two small children ages 3 and 1.5 years. Prior to them I literally was working all the time, I think I have a bit of a "work alcoholic syndrome," think I obtained that "syndrome" from my dad. Anyhow it felt so great to take some time for myself and just read. I had forgotten how much I love to read! As a child I would devour a book in one day and still want more. If I had the time I'll bet I could still do that! Now for those of you wondering what piece of great American Literature did I read, well it was....(drum roll please) Mommywood by Tori Spelling. Now before you all decide to start jumping all over me about my reading choice, let me tell you, I LOVED THIS book! She may be a celebrity but some of the exact same struggles I face as a parent she faces too. Anyhow the point here is that thanks to Tori Spelling I have tapped into something I really enjoyed in the past and I want to keep this going.



Point of the weekend was I actually worked to align my needs and fit them in nicely with my family's needs and I feel much better as a Mom because I did some things for me.



Now stay tuned as this Mom adds a "first" in my life tomorrow...jury duty. We will be starting a new book while there!